Do We Know What We're Asking For?

I listened to a teaching CD today that I've had in my car for a while but have never listened to before. I was deeply stirred in my heart. I want to keep my heart stirred and for this to not be an isolated incident. I want to meditate on this thought for a long time and for this seed to not be temporary, eaten by the birds, choked by the weeds or burned by the sun... I want it to go deep into fresh, fertile soil and to take firm root in my heart.

This is what is stirring in my heart. A question that I am having to ask myself-- Do I really mean what I am asking of the Lord? Do I even KNOW what I'm asking Him?

For example: I say- "Lord I want to be like Jesus! Make me like Jesus!"

Okay- Let's take a look at Jesus.... He, the second person of the Godhead, left His enormous throne, seated at God's right hand, surrounded by thousands upon thousands of powerful angels- to become a helpless baby... Not able to take care of Himself, dependent on His mother to be fed and His earthly father to protect Him... He emptied Himself out and made Himself of no reputation. He was continually misunderstood and rejected and overlooked and eventually killed. How often, in our quest to be like Jesus do we say- "Hey, I really really want to be misunderstood. I REALLY dream of being of no reputation. Wow, that'd be so cool!" I don't think many of us do. God does put a desire in us to be great... but in our quest to be great, how many of us focus that pursuit on this 70 year or so span on planet earth and not on eternity-greatness in the Kingdom? What does that entail? Here's a clue-

Mark 10: 31 "But many who are first will be last, and the last first."

We cry out to be fruitful-"Lord, make me fruitful! I want to raise the dead! (to glorify Your name of course!) I want to preach and the multitudes rush to the altar (and I'll be real humble Lord on the platform while I'm doing it- I promise Lord!). Yes Lord, that's what I truly desire. Make me fruitful!"Do we know what we're asking?

Do we know what Jesus said needed to happen in order for us to become fruitful?

John 12: 24 "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.25"He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it to life eternal."

So when opportunity comes along to die to self, to be unoffendable even when we've been Christians a long time and have seen so much, have been disappointed so many times- do we embrace that death? (I'm talking to myself here and not liking my answers) As Derek Loux said (in the CD I was listening to), death hurts! Even if we realize that we need to die, and we recognize that we're in an intense season of dying to self, that realization doesn't keep it from hurting. He said, "if someone starts stabbing you, you don't say-'Hey. I'm being stabbed! Okay, I'm aware of what's happening. That's cool. Because I'm aware, it doesn't hurt as much." No way! Ouch! It HURTS! Being aware makes us know better how to talk to God about it, but it still hurts!

But it has purpose... Jesus had to die to be resurrected into abundant, victorious LIFE! Wow! We get that too! But first, we have to die!

But all this death would be depressing if it wasn't for the love of God. Why would we die, just to die, for Someone unless we loved them and gained so much in doing so? It's the revelation of His love and Him laying down His life for us, that motivates us to lay down our life for Him. It's the abundant Life of that glorious Person named Jesus that results from the laying down of our lives that makes it all worth it.

If you've been a Christian for any length of time, you've heard all of this before...taking up our cross, dying to self, etc. We probably all have this truth tucked in the back of our minds, ready to pull out at any given moment, but I am realizing more and more that I've not truly "gotten" this. It's forming in my heart and I pray as I said earlier that this seed goes deep. But this is our purpose and journey on this earth. This is a daily choice. The world is so in us, even as Christians, even the church, that somehow we're still doing a whole lot of "saving" and not a whole lot of "losing" of our lives (although we may find a spiritual sounding justification for it). We say the right things, we know the scriptures. But until our sojourn in this earth suit is over and we step into eternity, this is to be our life- daily taking up our cross. It is not just an idea or a nice concept- it's the reality of the normal Christian life. There's no way around it for ANY of us! We can't dance around this truth, touching on it here and there when we find it convenient...! We cannot avoid this door of death.

I'm not trying to get into condemnation, but sometimes I have these illuminating moments of revelation where I really see how high the mark truly is- and I see how much I have just "settled" for less and grown comfortable there. In those moments I realize that I have to say to the Lord- "Jesus, if I'm honest, I guess I really don't want to be like You after all! Please help me to be willing. Please reveal Your love more so I can."

Romans 8:17 "Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. 18 I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

I have not really ever suffered like some have. And I admit that I'm not itching to... (are any of us?) But I do believe (as a song I heard says) that this is "...an inside outside, upside down Kingdom where you lose to gain and you die to live." I want to, not just live, but to really LIVE! As Paul said, "to live is Christ, and to die is gain". He is our Life! Oh and what life He is too!!! Look closely at these lyrics.

SERVANT OF ALL by Misty Edwards
"...Show me how to go lower.
For in the depths I will find You
While I am serving my brother.
I want to be with You where You are.
I want to be with You where You are.
I want to be with You where You are
You're the Servant of all.
I am in love with a King who became a slave.
I'm in love with a God who is humble.
You've got to go down if you want to go up.
You've got to go lower,If you want to go higher and higher.
You've gotta hide and do it in secret
If you want to be seen by God.
It's the inside outside upside down Kingdom.
Where you lose to gain, and You die to live.
It's an inside outside upside down Kingdom
Where you lose to gain and you die to live.

"Lord, reveal Your great love for us, that caused You to come to earth to die for us. Root us and ground us in that love and make us willing to be willing to die in order to live! You are Life! You are everything we need. The glories of Your presence and Your fellowship compare to nothing created. Remind us of the priceless value of this eternal, imperishable seed that we carry in these temporary earthen vessels. Why do we so often value and try to save what is perishable and ignore and neglect what is eternal? Open our eyes! Wake us up to reality! Jesus- You are everything! Nothing else matters but You! Remind us. Help us to fall in love with You again. And may we ask, knowing full well what we are asking- Make us like Jesus! For there alone is LIFE. Amen."

That's all for now. Until next time. God bless ya'll! Kayla